PICKY PICKY PONKIE

You must have sang that nursery rhyme…it was meant to determine who amongst us was to do a task or get the first chance in playing a game or even participate in an “exclusives” thing. (Ok, it’s what you now refer to as Random Sampling). Surprisingly, Picky Picky Ponkie seems to be the sole determinant of what ladies in my generation choose to wear. How else do we explain away the unbelievable tights, ever increasing low-cuts and the unimaginable brevity of our skirts? It is as if we go out for shopping and since we cannot make up our minds, we decide upfront that we shall buy the fourth item that lands on our hands (read even fourteenth). As such, no thought on modesty ever crosses our minds when buying clothes, and men thus ask for too much when they expect modesty to come in at the point of choosing what to wear…this problem ought to be solved at the buying point.

I learnt this when I was leading some group and on a day we were to have a presentation for a varied audience, I requested the ladies to wear skirts since I knew trousers would arouse questions of “how tight is too tight?” As you can probably guess, a good number of them had no skirts so I requested them to make a careful choice of a modest trouser from their wardrobes. I asked for too much (just like men often do), because what I saw on the material date was a perfect mismatch of Picky Picky Ponkie results. As complaints of “this all I gat” came my way all so naturally, I realized the dress code problem is one we should solve at the buying points, not in our bedrooms.

I speak as a lady, and insist that ladies must dress sensibly in lieu of the current competition we seem to be waging with prostitutes. Aish! That sounds pretty harsh I know (we have tried requesting, urging, coercing and awarding to no avail) but let me go by it because most of our most loving men will not tell us that our wardrobe choice needs more attention. I gather from reliable sources that men feel afraid to ask women to cover themselves up; they’re scared we’ll think they’re judging us in self-righteousness. They’re scared we won’t like them anymore or that we’ll blame them and say that it’s their problem, not ours.

A Christian man is quoted saying
“It’s difficult for men to find a good way to say that they’re offended when women dress immodestly at church. It’s difficult because if he says it, he sounds like a member of Sexaholics Anonymous. There is no standard way in evangelical circles for Christian men politely to ask Christian women to be more modest.”

Ladies, for politeness sake, let us give more attention to the non-verbal messages that our dress codes scream out. Adopt a modest dressing style. I am not seeking to say that you never buy a trouser, for even in the stringiest Christian circles we well know that our God is not a God of skirts versus trousers. Neither do I imply that east or west skirts save the day (I can figure out a few skirts that should never again be in my wardrobe). Simply put, let us dress modestly.

And so what does it mean to dress modestly with decency and propriety? Whatever your cultural background or generation, modesty never is universal. Modesty may take different looks but it will always be modest, no matter what generation we are in or what the current fashion may be. Modest clothes do not exploit a woman’s body or features. They will not display body parts for the purpose of drawing attention to them. Not only does modesty require that certain body parts should be completely covered, but also that the shape of our bodies should not be unnecessarily and immodestly emphasized with tight fitting clothes.

Dressing with propriety means dressing appropriately. It means there is a difference in the way we dress for a sports activity, for a casual event, and for more structured, formal occasions, such as worship. But all occasions call for modesty in our dress, whether we’re on the beach or sitting in church. Modest dress will not say “sex” or “pride” or “money.” But it certainly can say “good taste,” “attractive,” and “pretty.” They should quietly say “modest,” “appropriate,” “carefully chosen.”

Next time you are buying an outfit, do not choose one at random. Buying clothes is not a game of chance. Especially if you are a Christian woman, do not embarrass us, remember our true beauty comes from the radiance within and seek to dress in a way that directs other lady friends on what a lady of integrity ought to look like. Trust me, even though they do not want to be preached at, they want to look as if they have as much integrity as we do! When you get married and have children, please begin when they are very young to teach them to dress modestly. Men, we hope you know that fathers can have a strong influence on how their daughters dress by taking an interest, complimenting them on appropriate clothes, and setting clear guidelines and boundaries.